Meaning Making Machines
If someone were to ask me what I thought was the most important part of living I would respond, “to be happy.” Yes, generic and platitudinal enough, but it’s never the less true. Happiness is what we all want to have and be in our lives, and it’s the feeling that we wish would pervade our lives the most over the course of our existence here. While we say we want to be happy how much do we actually do to ensure we are happy? What lengths are we willing to go to? Will you for example quit your job if you hate it? Do you put money before your family or other potentially fulfilling relationships? Do you carve out time for self love and self care? Can’t go pouring from an empty cup y’all. And maybe you’re willing to do all the things I just mentioned or already have or in the process of. What we need to be willing to change the most for our happiness is not our external reality, but our internal one. Please listen closely and absorb this! Nothing externally can affect you, hurt you, move you, if you possess control of your internal reality and train your mind towards all that brings you fulfillment, love, passion, joy, etc.
I feel that I talk incessantly about the rewiring of the mind with a disposition towards only allowing things that bring light, positivity, and happiness into our lives. Anything that doesn’t point in the direction of a happier you does not serve you. It does not benefit you. I would say and I know you have often heard it’s our own minds that are our greatest and worst enemy when it comes to being happy. We are our own worst critic. We say things to ourselves that we know we would never say to our friends. How do we change this about ourselves? How do we empower ourselves on our journey to a happier, more fulfilling life? I’d say 60-70% of the time we suffer, because we are mean making machines.
As humans, we put a meaning to everything that stimulates our minds consciously or subconsciously. We see a dog bark at a tree. We supply a meaning for it. “Oh, there must be a squirrel in there.” We see a guy wink at girl. We supply a meaning for it. “Oh, he must be flirting with her.” We see someone cut in front of us or speed by us on the interstate. “That person’s a jackass. He/she must think they’ve got somewhere more important to be than I do!” A woman picks chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla. “She must like chocolate ice cream more than vanilla.” We supply meaning for the things we see ALL DAY during all our waking hours. This isn’t an inherently bad thing whatsoever. Our meanings we give to the things we see or experience is often helping us understand and interact with the world we live in. There are many times though that these meanings we give to things hurt us though. And not just at the moment. The meanings we create if we continue to believe in them can drag through our lives becoming heavy baggage that weighs down our emotion, spiritual, and eventually even our physical being.
For example, when my mom died I gave it more meaning than was actually there. My mom was addicted to drugs and she died from an overdose. That is the only true statement I can assert about what happened. Anything else I have to think or say about her passing is the meaning I’m choosing to give to what happened. At 12 and for many years afterwards, I gave what happened a lot more meaning. Some of the meanings I applied to her passing were “I must not have been good enough for her. If she really loved me she would have chosen my sisters and I over the drugs. I must have zero worth if even my own mother didn’t stick around.” As you can imagine, me carrying around this extra meaning I gave my mom’s death was heavy. it was painful and caused me a lot of suffering over the next decade or so. And my mom’s passing was just one of the areas!!
So take more than moment and ask yourself these questions honestly. Think about the things that have hurt you or are still causing you suffering. What really happened? What is the true statement of the event? What was the additional meaning you gave the situation or event that you haven’t let go of yet? Is it still hurting you? And the most important question, what would be the benefits be if you let that meaning go?
We are meaning making machines conditioned from childhood. That conditioning doesn’t have to last your whole life though. Practice awareness and bring your attention to the meanings you are giving things that don’t serve you. Then practice letting those meanings go, and if you get really good, practice not giving meaning to things in the present. I’ll talk about this topic some more. Some of it may be hard to grasp in a thousand word blog. So if you have any questions please feel free to ask. As always, thanks for reading fam. I love you all! <3