The Masks We Wear
Happy day to you my dear reader! I hope you are doing well and if you’re doing less than well that’s okay too! I hope this blog will be beneficial! This blog doesn’t follow chronologically as the last ones have, but I really wanted to write on this topic. The masks we wear are what keeps us from knowing our true selves, and in turn, from others knowing who we genuinely are. This is important because as humans we want more than anything to be genuinely seen, heard, and valued. We have as many masks as an onion has layers and the more of them we can peel off the greater our authenticity can shine forth bringing only what YOU can bring into the world and creation.
The masks we wear serve as “protective layers” to our ego and our sense of identity. These masks we wear aren’t actually protective layers like we think they are though. We create these masks because somewhere along our life’s timeline we had to learn how to cope with some sort of trauma or defining life event. Coping isn’t bad, and it’s often time necessary. When we have gained the strength though we should move from coping to healing what hurt us. These masks help us cope by saving us temporarily(even years or decades) from facing our traumas. They even give us a sense of comfort, because they shroud the trauma behind something. If I can’t see the monster is the monster real? We can feel like order has been restored in our lives by wearing these masks, but deep down we know we need to face whatever gave rise to their creation. Our souls know who we are in our authentic forms, but our mind can do a mighty good job of repressing that knowledge. The journey to our authenticity tears us out of our safe spaces and forces us to battle the chaos inside ourselves. I feel like I just said a lot there! Let me give some examples. These masks can be many things- extrovert, introvert, shy, nervous, tough guy, softy, people pleaser, depressed, anxious, the guy or girl who feels out of place and stands by the wall while others are having fun, and the list goes on.
After the passing of my mother at 12 years old, I quickly began to put masks on that I thought would protect me, and they did for a time. One of my masks was called “pitiful”. This mask told me that I was a victim and worthless. This mask “protected” me from allowing anyone into my heart therefore keeping it safe from the perturbations of Love. Another mask was called ‘“tough”. The tough exterior shell I created around me let people know I was a man. I didn’t need to cry or talk about her death. I just did what men do! I threw that shit over my shoulders and kept climbing forward…so I thought. I wore a mask called “promiscuous” as I got older. I slept with as many women as possible to affirm my worth and feel validated after my mom died. “Look here! This woman gives me her time and her body so therefore I must have worth.” These masks are shady things. On the surface they seem to protect us from pain, and at the same time they restrict our freedom of expression. The longer we wear them the more certain we become that these masks are us, and us, them. They appear to protect us but instead keep us from stripping down our egos. What are some of your masks that have come to define you?
For those of you who are aware of these things already, keep up the soul work. Now some of you might be panicking because this blog is opening an area of your mind that you don’t care to go. This is totally understandable because going back to our traumas is HARD. It’s scary. It can unearth emotions that have long been repressed. We often relive the pain and the experience all over again by going back, BUT going back is worth it. Your ego and all it’s masks create a barrier between you and Love. As humans, we are intrinsically called to love one another and create deep connections. Strip these barriers away because your authentic, genuine, pure, radiating self wants to be seen by the world. The world needs you and all you have to offer.
As you shred these masks you will change as you get closer to the authentic you. Throughout life we have all undoubtedly have said, “I lost my best friend” or “person x wasn’t who I thought they were.” This can be the “cost” of morphing. People who we thought loved us often fall to the wayside during our journey inward towards our authentic self. At first, we feel sad and sorry, but the truth is this is a good thing!! The closer we get to our authentic self the more people love us just the way we are. We have unhooked ourselves from relationships with people who don’t really want to nurture us at our soul level. And if someone isn’t nurturing our soul with our limited time to live this life what do we do? we say Bye Felica! As we get older we realize that our time on earth is finite and what/who we give our time to is of great importance. What we feed is what grows. So are we feeding relationships that support us in stripping our masks or do we hangout with people who are comfortable with living on the surface level? Living by the motto of “If you don’t make me uncomfortable than I won’t make you uncomfortable”. In comfortability, there is rarely growth.
Once you begin to start peeling these masks off a few wonderful different things happen my dear friends. 1. We come to understand ourselves as individuals better. 2. The better we understand ourselves the more people come to love us for who we actually are, not for the masks we wear. 3. Feeling genuinely seen, heard, and valued for who we are at our roots is immensely empowering. To be loved as we authentically are is a Christlike/unconditional love that we don’t have to wait till heaven to receive. 4. Our authenticity throws out a bright light to all around us, pushing others on their own inward journey to find themselves. 5. You will give the world the absolute best version of yourself so when it comes time to exit the world you know the world got the unique beauty that is you. Let me end this with one of my favorite quotes. This quote represents the cost of not making the journey to your inward genuine, authentic self.
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost for eternity.”- martha Graham